I kept writing and deleting this post. I got scared. Scared to share. But it is 100% me, KP and this is where I get to say what I want. And the next ten posts are going to be about food, so a little sour with lots of sweet isn't too hard to swallow.
Recently I did a little self-diagnosis and as I suspected, I've come down with something serious. It's a little bug that I call Family Fever. Not to be confused with Baby Fever... because well we all know how babies send me running for the door.
It's been creeping in for a while now, but I came to terms with my sickness the other day when I was putting together the slideshow of layouts for Studio Calico. I kept looking at all these layouts of the team's beautiful families and I would like all of that. The husband. The kids. The big, hearty, chock full of love, life.
So maybe this where the card "the grass is always greener" comes into play. Truthfully, I always thought my grass was the greenest. My freedom and independence have been my most cherished things for many years. But I've come to realize that I would give it all up... the travel, the airline miles, the meals, the weekends sleeping in, even New York City... I'd give it up in a heartbeat for a loving and lasting relationship. Someone who sticks. I know it can be possible to have it all. But it takes work.
Symptoms started developing more last month when I stayed a night at my dear friend Kelly's house. I woke up and ate homemade muffins at the table with her two boys. They had me doubled over laughing. They are such great kids. I would love to trade in my freedom to wake up and have that joy in my home. Everyone of you that has that, I consider you very lucky. I can have one million silly photos of me jumping around the world or of every single bite of food I ever take... but I am starting to crave photos of things and times that matter.
It took me a while to come down with this fever. (I think some of you suspected it would hit soon.) I believe that my remedy is out there. I just have to wait for him to find me.
